I’m In a “Whatever” With a Guy I Really Like
How to Get a Boyfriend in College
Hoping For Those Three Little Words
Does My Boyfriend Love My Sister?
Learning to Swim in the Deep End
Is Casual Sex Destroying Empathy?
Learning to Speak Hookup: Guys’ Edition
Defense Against the Dark Arts: Narcissism

Susan Walsh says:
August 12, 2010 at 7:55 pm
@Rum
Though the literature I cited here doesn’t state it specifically, I’ve wondered if part of the problem is that men cannot stand the thought of being with a woman who has more sexual experience than they do. I think this is understandable for a whole host of reasons listed in the post, but also because the guy may have some performance anxiety.
As I’ve said elsewhere I think the Carousel Rider Seeks Beta Provider meme is grossly exaggerated. I think it’s got to be a tiny minority of women who might engage in the cynical reasoning you offer here.

Rum says:
August 12, 2010 at 8:25 pm
Susan
I think the whole question of the importance or value or impact of “sexual experience” is grossly over-rated. At least when compared to the matter of “sexual desirability”.
If a woman is not attractive while naked to the guy she is with it makes very little difference what skills she might deploy. It might get things over with a bit more quickly but he will still not be more eager to come back for more because of it. Likewise, a shy, needy guy who happens to come equipped with a porn-star package (horse-dick, can go for hours) is likely to completely ignored by the hotties.
Performance anxiety is a complicated subject. I mean, if the woman is not really fuckable, the guy is much better off saying, “Oh, look. I guess my dick has performance anxiety” than “You look like you are carrying a 30 lb cellulite-fetus.” Doing the later could easily get him injured since women are not wired to deal with that kind of rejection.
It has been my experience that about 97% of a woman response to a cock is her interpretation of the rank and value of its owner rather than what it happens to be doing to her at any given time..

Susan Walsh says:
August 12, 2010 at 8:40 pm
@Rum

It has been my experience that about 97% of a woman response to a cock is her interpretation of the rank and value of its owner rather than what it happens to be doing to her at any given time..

I would amend that to her feelings about its owner, while acknowledging that said feelings may be directly affected by her perception of the rank and value of its owner. Love of the cock follows from love of the man, never the other way around.